A letter to the girl I love.

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We know each other for the last couple of years. I still remember the day we first met. I remember the way you looked at me that day, I remember how you held my hands when u were about to fall from the stairs. I remember the funny picture you took in your phone. I remember …. I remember almost everything that evening. 

When we met second time, the surrounding cold air, ice cream and the best rain. You don’t know how much I wanted to use your spoon, which you kept in it, when you gave me your unfinished ice cream. Your voice, your eyes, your pupil’s dilation and your beautiful smile. I was jus blown away. The minutes which we spent together in the car is unforgettable. The songs you played, Your chitchats and the chocolate. 

I am waiting for the next time to meet. 

Last night I had this dream. It was my wedding day. I remember my nikkah and after that I walked towards my bride. She was standing there smiling at me. She looks like she was waiting for me for long time. The day was bright, the sky was blue and only blue, and the land was white like a desert. I was right, it was you in a beautiful sliver dress and a black hijab walking slowly towards me. I opened my arms and gave my bride a warm hug. You just blushed with shyness. I whispered…

“You know what dear, I Love you so much…!!!”

മുഖംമൂടി

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ഈ മുഖമെന്താ ഇങ്ങിനെ…
നിന്റെ മുഖമെന്താ ഇങ്ങിനെ…?
ഈ മുഖം മാറ്റാം…
ചിരിക്കുന്ന മുഖം മതി
മുഖക്കടയിൽ പോവാം
മുഖം മാറ്റാം..
എനിക്കും വാങ്ങണം മറ്റൊരു മുഖം….

J. Akther

11-08-2014

തിരിച്ചറിവ്

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എകാന്തതയെന്ന നിലമില്ലാ കയത്തിൽ

നീന്തിത്തുടിക്കുന്ന സ്വർണ്ണമത്സ്യമാണ് ഞാൻ

ആഴങ്ങളുടെ അടിത്തട്ടിലെ, ചെകുത്താനും

അവന്റെ നേത്രങ്ങളിൽ  വിരിയുന്ന അന്ധകാരവും 

സ്നേഹത്തിന്റെ നേർത്ത രശ്മികൾ

പുലർത്തുന്ന ജീവനും, കടലും. 

ഇരുൾ മൂടിയ തടവറക്കുള്ളിലെ 

വെയിൽ തേടുന്ന നിഴലും

അപ്രസക്തമാമെൻ പ്രസക്തി പോലും 

വലിപ്പ ചെറുപ്പങ്ങളില്ലാത്ത ഞാൻ ഞാൻ

മാത്രമായിത്തീരുന്നതും നീ കണ്ടില്ലേ

ഇരുട്ട് കുത്തിയ വരാന്തക്കുള്ളിൽ തെന്നി

വീഴുന്ന ഭയത്തെയും നീ കണ്ടില്ലേ.

എന്നെ വിഡ്ഢിയാക്കുന്ന കണ്ണാടിയിലെ 

പ്രതിബിംബതെപ്പോലെ 

ഞാൻ തേടുന്ന യാഥാർത്യത്തെ പോലെ

വിവർണ്ണമായ എന്റെ മുഖത്തെ പോലെ

അരുത്.. 

അതിനു വർണ്ണമില്ലെന്നു  ഞാൻ

വിശ്വസിച്ചു കൊള്ളട്ടെ.


— J. Akther

21-03-14

പ്രണയത്തിന്റെ വിപ്ലവം 

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ആദ്യം നീ എന്റെ ഹൃദയം ചുവപ്പിച്ചു,
പിന്നെ നീ എന്റെ സ്വപ്‌നങ്ങൾ ചുവപ്പിച്ചു,
പിന്നെ നീ ചുവപ്പിച്ചത് എന്റെ ചിറകുകൾ,
അവസാനം നീ എന്റെ മിഴികൾ ചുവപ്പിച്ചു.

Jalib Akther MK

14/09/’13


Two videos that influenced me

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Today I saw two videos. Both of these videos has some speciality. Each one taught me different different things. One is entitled ‘with a piece of chalk’ and the other one is a footage from the documentary film ‘Samsaara’.

Both the video influenced me in different way. I was bit different in my mood. But after I watching these videos it struck my mind, it influenced me in a very good way.

The first video I watched was the footage from the documentary Samsaara. The footage of Mecca, people doing prayer and circling Ka~ba. The divine feeling it gave me was infinite. I use to wonder when people especially the old generation keep the picture of Ka~ba on their walls. But now I understood what would be their feeling, the divinity  which they acquire when they see the picture, I felt the same when I watched that video.

The second one was a motivating footage. ‘With a piece of chalk’. The story of a kid. It narrated the story of a lonely kid, who is labelled as a looser even by his parents. But, you know the peculiarity of the nature? it gives every person a special skill which makes him unique. Identifying that skill is pretty important in their life. It paves the way to success, which makes us a successful person.A person can develop those skill by practice. And ultimately the society admires him…

She is more beautiful, when…

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A small Preface to my friends 

Marriage is divine. The warmth and divin feeling you get when you attend a marrige function is something very different and you won’t get it from elsewhere. But sometimes attending a wedding night may become boring, especially, when no one else is with you. Such situations happen to me often. To get rid of the boring part, I use to think about the couple who is getting married, how they feel about that day, what they feel about getting married, how they would live next day onwards and so on. On a vague day, when I was travelling in a bus, looking outside and measuring the power of the wind coming in; I thought how it would be, on ma wedding day. 

I want to get married when the May flower blossoms and the wine yard becomes violet. I want ma marriage to be a celebration for my family, and it will be I guess. I want to decorate the function like an orchard, with a wine yard. And there she is, my bride, like an angel in her gown. Her gaze lowered with shyness. We sit together facing people who has come to attend the function (that day, I won’t think about those who have come alone). Snapping sound echoes and the intense white light reflects from her face. Now a big surprise from the groom himself, I will arrange a white forest cake with a line written on it, and it will be “She is more beautiful, when she is a BRIDE”. After the hectic day of our marriage, along with a heavy feast, she is still a bride, wearing a milky white saree, like a keralite girl. Simple and beautiful. She enters into our bedroom. Her dimple makes her more beautiful. Her cheeks are red. She is shy. I will take her hand, and on her palm I’ll write with ma fingers pointed “She is more beautiful when she is shy”. Her face shined in the doom light.

On a late day from ma office, I reach home, of course late. She is a little bit angry. I could see that, she dint show her face, she was on the bed. I said “I need a coffe”. She replied without looking at me “make your own”. I went to the coffe maker, made 2 cups and I tore a piece of paper from my notepad and I wrote something on it and placed it under the coffee on the dressing table with a tuck sound. She took it, she read it and she smiled. “She is more beautiful, when she is sad”. She walked towards me with slow and short footsteps, holding the cup and the paper piece. I was sitting on an easy chair, reading a clumsy magazine, She hugged me from behind and told me in my ears “I’m sorry”. I took her to my lap and I gave her a box and said “Happy wedding Anniversary”. In that box – she opened it –she finds a diamond ring of platinum with a tag. She read the tag, I could see her lip movement; I kissed on her forhead.“She is more and even more beautiful, when she is happy”.

On a beautiful shiny day, she called to my office to share a good news. She was extremely happy. I got rid of the business fast and left my office. She attended my door bell.She came and hugged me. I kissed on her forehead and I showed what I had bought for her. A beautiful white ‘anarkali’ and a bouquet of white roses. A folded card with golden letters inside, kept in the bouquet. “She is more beautiful when she knows she is pregnent”. After 5-6 months, I went for a business tour, I couldn’t take her. It made her fairly disappointed. I dint hang up my phone call to her. But I was really confused how I could give her a surprise. I kept on thinking. But I couldn’t find any ideas to surprise her. I reached back home. She only smiled at me and helped me with the luggage. I took her hand and I hugged her. In her ears I whispered, “She is more beautiful when she has a pot belly”. She hit me on my arms and started crying.

On her delivery day, she was screaming in her labour bed. I was standing near her, curdling her. With a bunch of blue roses and written on a greeting card. On her labour bed, “She is more beautiful when the mother inside her has born”. We got a cute baby, a sweet and chubby baby. A new light In Our life. On The next Mother’s Day, she got a greeting card, a beautiful one. She turned over the page and smiled, looking at that. “She is more beautiful when she is with the baby”

I’m praying to God to make this note last one of this kind. Because the next note, If I have to write one, will be for her funeral. “Oh God, I don’t want to do that”
But I went on thinking, If I have to write one – God knows. I will get a beautiful picture of her and I will write on it,“She is more beautiful when I miss her;She really is…”

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